Iron Man

My review of Iron Man:

Firstly, let me preface this review by saying how totally tired I am of the whole Middle-Easterners are bad guys thing. They handled it better than most, but it’s getting to the point where every time I see a guy who’s supposed to be Middle Eastern sneer in evil maliciousness, a little part of me dies for that actor. I mean, literally, are there any parts for Middle Eastern actors that aren’t either Evil Guy or Victim?

No, no there are not.

Secondly, I can suspend my disbelief over a lot of things, including mechanical suits that allow humans to  fly/etc., but I cannot suspend my disbelief over Gwyneth Paltrow running in those shoes. I am sorry, Gwyneth; the best acting of all time couldn’t make me believe that it’s possible to run away from a giant mechanical monster in those heels. Especially across that iron grating. They are lovely, though, and I was really admiring them.

Okay, so here’s my review of Iron Man:

FUCK YEAH!

0 FORKS.

Stephen Colbert has a rival for my affections, and it’s Tony Stark as played by Robert Downey Jr. This movie is awesome, awesome. I am in love with his delivery, his tone, his beautifully-tailored suits, him getting shot (I think I have a mild fetish about hot men getting shot. Remember, ladies and men who like men, when Mulder got shot? Of yes, it was hot), his pretty pretty eyes and even his facial hair (don’t try that one at home, kids! It’s for trained professionals only, like fedoras). I have always been an RDF fan, and Chaplin is one of my favourite movies, but holy fuck. Holy Fuck.   Anyway, we’re going to the drive-in tonight to see Iron Man and Indiana Jones as a double-feature. I shrug at Indie; again, some of my favourite movies, and I love Harrison Ford, but Shia Leboef can take a long walk off a short pier, if you ask me. It was okay. But! Iron! Man! Was! Awesome!